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Vinay Parmar - Speaker, Coach, Author

Fantatstic Tips on Career, Life and Business Development

Fantatstic Tips on Career, Life and Business Development

Performance Improvement

Rhinoceros Success

11th February 2015 by VParmar 3 Comments

Who-are-you-a-cow-or-a-rhino-waiternomics-martin-fischer

“Are you a cow or are you a Rhino?” fellow speaker and massive goals expert David Hyner asked.

He was talking about the comparison that Scott Alexander makes in his book titled Rhinoceros Success.

I’ll be honest I’ve never read it and I was surprised to learn that David’s research of top achievers revealed that this was the book that most appeared on their ‘influential’ books list.

The author of  Rhinoceros Success, Scott Alexander, declares that there are two kinds of people in the world – those who are like ‘Rhinos’ and those who are ‘Cows’

What’s the difference you ask?

Cows go with the herd and surround themselves with others just like them so that they can blend in.

Cows fulfil their basic tasks by eating, sleeping and producing milk as life passes them by.

For a cow everyday is like groundhog day, it’s the same monotonous routine day in and day out.

Cows do have dreams and wishes but the fear of breaking away from the safety of the heard and possible failure keeps them rooted to the spot.

Rhinos on the other hand are strong animals who are thick skinned and not worried by what others think or say.

Rhinos don’t have dreams or wishes, they simply decide what they wants and then charge toward it, not stopping until they get it.

A Rhino forges its own path and never follows “the herd.”

So what does all this have to do you with?
I’m not saying that everyone should be a Rhino nor am I saying that you shouldn’t be a cow.
What I am saying is if you want to really achieve significant meaningful goals in your life, then you have to be more like a Rhino.

Here are 5 simple principles for living more like a Rhino.

Stop Wishing On A Star.

Instead of wishing things were different make a decision to do something about it. Turn that wish into a goal by moving from a thought in your mind to a goal committed to paper.

Boom Shake The Room

Take that goal and turn it into a compelling vision statement that makes you feel so excited and pumped that you cannot wait to get up every morning inspired to take action.

Likes Are For Facebook.

Forget having everyone love you. When you choose to take on a different path from the heard, some won’t like it, some will love it and some may even join you in a Jerry McGuire sty-lee.

Drop The Assumptive Close.

When you say to yourself something like “I’m not good enough”, how do you know?

Too many people quit before they’ve even started because they’ve made assumptions about themselves and end up closing off any progress.

Stop it! Give it a try first. You will be amazed at what you are actually capable of doing.

The Elephant In The Room.

To get to where they want Elephants will trample over what is in their path whereas Rhinos charge towards it warning whatever is in the way that it is coming.

Yes, be committed to the charge and take action but at the sometime you must be careful not to trample on others to get what you want.

So it’s over to you. Are you a cow or a rhino?

This post was inspired by the work of David Hyner FPSA and Director of Stretch Development.

Filed Under: Business, Leadership, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: Business Coaching Birmingham, Business Consultancy Birmingham, Business Mentor Birmingham, Business Performance Improvement, coaching, coaching in business, David Hyner, improving results, inspirational business speaker, inspirational speaker, leadership motivational, Massive Goals, Personal growth, Rhinoceros Success, Scott Alexander, self development, self improvement, success, vinay parmar, vinspired

Different Strokes

29th January 2015 by VParmar 2 Comments

 

5 time NBA All-Star Isiah Thomas walked into his old high school gym to speak to a group of star struck youngsters who have dreams of making it to the big time.

As the applause fades, Isiah begins his speech “In every neighbourhood there is a guy who can really play…he can shoot the lights out.” Isiah continues “Every time…it’s swish…swish…swish” whilst mimicking a jump shot. 

Isaiah Thomas

He continues “Then the kid comes here to St Joseph and the he gets cut.” 

“People ask ‘Tom, was really good. How come he got cut?’

The kids listen with complete attention, hanging on Isaiah’s every word.

Isiah then makes his key point “You See,  Tom didn’t learn the fundamentals of basketball…Team basketball…which is what you are all here to learn.”

Why is this relevant to you?

I meet talented, bright and passionate people a lot in my business – they are the ‘players who can really play’ as Isaiah said.

However many of them struggle to stay afloat or worse the give up on their dreams.

I believe most people fail not because they aren’t good “players” but because they didn’t learn the “team” fundamentals.

Success is a team sport.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you’ll know that this isn’t a new concept for me.

I wax lyrical about the importance surrounding yourself with good people but at the sometime I think that statement can be a little misleading.

Most people translate “good people” as more people like them.

That’s a potential problem.

You see if you only bring into play more people who are like you then you will only succeed in strengthening what you are good at and are in danger of neglecting areas of weaknesses which will leave you exposed.

Let me give you an example.

I’ve very creative. I come up with more ideas in a few minutes that most people will come up with in a day – it’s just the way my brain works. However, the downside is that I can become bored, distracted and unfocused.

If simply surrounded myself with more people like me, we would come up with an avalacnhe of creative ideas but very little will get done. Sure, it would be a lot of fun but very unproductive.

I’ve had to become more self aware and spend time with people who have different strengths and bring different ways of working/thinking to the table.

How do I select a more rounded group?

Here’s a quick, simple generalisation of the 4 groups people fall into. I’m using a tool called Tetramap™ which I use when working with teams.

Take a look at the descriptions and see which ones you most resonate with, you’ll probably find there are a couple which are most like you.

Earth 

These individuals are bold, driven and confident.  They are goal oriented and winning is the key focus for them “eyes on the prize’ would be their mantra.

They are good at keeping control, holding people to account against against targets and are quick are making decisions.

Fire 

These individuals are positive in their outlook and are often incredibly motivating.  They are creative, visionary and inspire others to see possibilities. They like to keep the energy high, have lots of fun and usually have huge social networks.

Air

These people bring order and clarity. They like to think things through, considering all the facts and logic before any decisions are made. They a great at planning, listening and finding logical solutions as well as ensuring accuracy and quality.

Water

They are caring, loyal and emotionally aware. They bring harmony, calmness and a sense of togetherness to a team. They will consider the wider impact of actions on others and be more in touch with how people will feel as a result.

Once you know which is most like you take a look around to your peer group and see if you have enough of the other types in your circle.

If you don’t, it’s time to plug the gaps. For example if you resonate mostly with Water and Fire, then to balance your group out you need to bring in some Earth and Air people.

If you need more help or information on this please feel free to get in touch.

Filed Under: Leadership, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: Business Success, coaching, diffe, Hoop dreams, improving results, inspirational business ideas, Isiah Thomas, Leadership, life coach birmingham, peer group, Personal growth, self improvement, Team Dynamics, teams, Teamwork, Tetramap, vinay parmar

Make Rejection Your Friend and 2015 Could Be Your Best Year Yet.

8th January 2015 by VParmar 3 Comments

rejection

OK, so it may sound counter intuitive and you might be thinking that I still have some kind of New Year’s Eve hangover but stay with me on this.

Today, I was chatting to a young entrepreneur who has dreams of setting up a charity. One of the strategies we discussed for her was to identify people who had experience in setting up a charity and reach out to ask for help.

“You have to ask?” she said.

Suddenly her child like excitement was sapped from her body.

I asked her what was wrong and she said “what if they said no?”

I said to her “How will you ever know if you don’t ask?”

In my experience of helping people to improve their results, whether it’s in their business, career or life, here is what I have discovered.

I’ve come to learn that most people who are not achieving the results they want, are not willing to put themselves ‘out there’ or take action for the fear of being rejected.

They are held back by the fear of an investor or a key customer saying “No”

They are paralysed by a fear of being passed over for that big promotion or being ostracised by people around for sharing their ideas.

They procrastinate over the fear of who they might become if they are successful or if they fail.

As a result they choose to play it ‘safe’ locking their dreams, ambitions and ideas deep inside their internal Fort Knox.

Whilst I understand that nobody (including me) likes being rejected, the simple truth is that without exposing yourself to this often painful experience you will never move forward and get what you want.

How can you really achieve greatness if you are not willing to present yourself  fully to the world?

I suffered this same fear when I first started writing blogs and recording videos. I’d ask myself “what if people don’t like what I am saying?” or “What if no one watches my videos or responds to my blogs?” Or “What if I say something wrong?”

There is no doubt that the experience of rejection can be crushing but it can also be incredibly positive and powerful.

It’s all a question of perspective.

When somebody says “No” you can either walk away with your tail between your legs or you can choose step back and ask yourself some powerful questions.

It is like using Google. The quality of your results depends on the quality of the search terms.

Most people simply ask “Why?” The trouble with asking ‘why’ is your brain will give you an answer whether it actually knows or not.

Instead try asking yourself  questions like “What do I need to learn from this experience to help me get better next time?” or “What do I need to change in order to get the results I want next time?”

The point I am making here is that rejection is part of your refinement. It’s like a testing process.

It’s not a reason to give up and throw in the towel but rather an opportunity to be more innovative, creative and to grow your skills.

The bottom line is that In order to get what you want you have to be prepared to be rejected.

Instead of running away, embrace rejection like a friend and you’ll be surprised at how much more you could learn and achieve.

Filed Under: Leadership, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: Change, improving results, inspirational business ideas, inspirational business speaker, inspirational speaker, inspiring business people, leadership motivational, life coach birmingham, motivational coaching, motivational speaking companies, Overcoming fear, personal development coach, Personal growth, self development, vinay parmar

How To Set Goals With V2MOM

17th December 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

A few years ago CEO of Salesforce.com Marc Benioff developed a management process tool which has been behind many of the successes that his company has enjoyed.

It was in his days at Oracle where Marc was looking for a tool to help them plan better that V2MOM was born. After seeking help from leadership and personal development experts he came up empty but instead of giving up, he pulled together the common threads and developed V2MOM.

(Click here to read the full story of V2MOM)

V2MOM has nothing to do with your or anyone’s Mom…no Moms are harmed or involved in this process!

The acronym stands for Vision, Values, Methods, Obstacles and Measures.

V2MOM has now be come the tool of choice for setting goals and making plans at salesforce.com and it can help you too.

Check out the video below where I explain how to set goals with V2MOM.

Related :Help! Goal Setting is not working. I keep failing!  

Filed Under: Business, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: goal setting, Goals, how to set goals, V2MOM

When You Put It All On The Line.

10th December 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Success in life or business often comes following a critical moment of risk being involved.

I’m not a fan of the show but I happened to catch the X-Factor semi finals last weekend and I am glad I did because something magical took place.

the-x-factor-u-s-season-4-judges-rethink-in-2014

After auditions, boot camps and weeks of live competition facing the public vote it was now time for one last push to nail a spot in the final.

All the hard work each contestant had put in was now hanging in the balance. Everything was riding on what happened next.

In a situation like that what would you do?

Would you play it safe and go for the tried and tested? Or would you do something radically different so close to the finish line?

One contestant chose the latter.

Fleur East was busy rehearsing and deep into preparing for the biggest night of her life.

With just a couple of days left until the weekend semi final show, her team decided to take a huge gamble and change her selected song for an unreleased track from Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars.

Remember this is a show which is voted on by the general public, so performing a song that most people wouldn’t have heard is well….a little nuts!

We’ve all heard the old adage ‘cometh the hour, cometh the man’ right?

This was cometh the moment, cometh the woman.

Fleur East’s performance was truly amazing. In just shy of 3 minutes she went from being an ‘also ran contestant’ to stage rocking super star blowing away all that stood between her and a place in the final.

It was one of those spine tingling, hairs standing on the back of your neck  kind of moments.

Her performance was acclaimed as being in the top 3 of all time in all formats of the show anywhere in the world by Simon Cowell.

So what’s my point?

We all have different levels of risk that we are prepared to accept but sometimes we have to push the boundaries in order to get what we really want.

Of course, there is no guarantee it will pay off but should everything come together the results can be incredible.

Those moments become defining, pivotal and even seen as genius.

To be in the game and get what you truly want,  you have to let go of playing it safe and be ready to put it all on the line.

Filed Under: Business, Change, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: Business Success, Fleur East Xfactor, improving results, inspirational business ideas, inspirational speaker, leadership motivational, Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars, Personal growth, Risk, Simon Cowell, success, Uptown Funk, vinay parmar, vinspired, X Factor

No Pressure. No Diamonds.

4th December 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Can I ask you a question? How do you deal with pressure?

Are you someone who thrives on pressure or are you someone who finds it difficult to deal with the stress and anxiety that it can bring?

Pressure can be a powerful tool to access your inner power and potential if channelled and managed in the right way,  just like the process of how diamonds are formed. (No they do not come from coal!)

Check out the video below for my 5 top tips for dealing with pressure and uncovering your diamonds.

No time to watch the video and want the tips? You don’t know what you’re missing.

Vinay’s Top 5 Pressure Management Strategies.

#1 Take a break.

It might seem difficult to do but tearing yourself away  from a big work project, demanding family or growing financial bills can be just the thing you need. When you give yourself permission to have some “me” time away from the thing thats causing pressure you could gain new perspective. Remember though this is ‘take a break from’ not ‘run away from’ so you still need to deal with whatever is causing the pressure.

#2 Exercise.

There is more and more compelling evidence to support the premise that exercise is good for your mind and not just your body. You don’t have to go to the gym or pump iron, just 20-minutes  of activity such as a walk or dancing around in your PJs  when you are feeling stressed has massive impact on your mood that can last for several hours.

#3 Smile and laugh.

The East teaches us that laughter is the best medicine.  Our brains are wired with our emotions and facial expressions. When we are stressed,  we tend to store tension in our bodies and much of that can be in our faces. Laughing helps relax those muscles, fire off natural anti depressants and feel good hormones.

#4 Friends with Benefits.

Remember the old adage “A problem shared is a problem halved”? Keeping stress and anxiety to yourself is like pushing a self destruct button. Instead of keeping everything in reach out to friends or family to share how you are feeling. Of course ensure it is not with someone who is directly involved with the situation causing the stress.

Oh and never ever share it on Facebook. This might sound old fashioned but pick up the phone and speak to someone.

#5 Chillax

Meditation is a powerful practice that can help relax you and bring stillness to your mind You don’t have to sit under a tree chanting Om or spend hours with your eyes shut. Meditation is the practice of being with yourself and clearing your mind of thoughts. By being with yourself and being still you can gain clarity, calmness and be more relaxed.

Filed Under: Business, Performance Improvement, Personal Development Tagged With: Business Performance Improvement, Business Success, coaching, dealing with anxiety, how to deal with stress, how to handle pressure, inspirational business ideas, inspirational business speaker, inspirational speaker, leadership of a company, life coaching, motivational coaching, Personal growth, success coach birmingham, vinay parmar, vinspired

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