coaching in business

What Are Your Daily Standards?

12th May 2015 by VParmar Leave a Comment

In previous blogs and posts on various media channels, I’ve shared my belief that our daily standards and habits are the key to achieving your goals. From my own experience, it was raising my own personal standards and not setting lofty goals that has enabled me to transform my health and wellbeing, enjoying greater success in my business and have a happier family life.

My belief in daily standards was inspired by my friend Derek Mills, best selling author of the 10 Second Philosophy, International Speaker and the ‘go-to-guy’ on daily standards.

I asked Derek to share some of his ideas and thoughts on standards with my tribe, here it is…and it is epic.

Enjoy.

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Save My Bakery!

1st April 2015 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Last night I was channel surfing and I caught a show called “Save My Bakery”

In this episode a bakery that had been in one family for over 4 generations was facing the reality that they may have to close their doors forever.

The owners were up the creek without so much as a paddle.

Having remortgaged their house, dipped into their pension funds and even had to borrow from their two young daughters, they were up to their ears in debt.

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Rhinoceros Success

11th February 2015 by VParmar 3 Comments

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“Are you a cow or are you a Rhino?” fellow speaker and massive goals expert David Hyner asked.

He was talking about the comparison that Scott Alexander makes in his book titled Rhinoceros Success.

I’ll be honest I’ve never read it and I was surprised to learn that David’s research of top achievers revealed that this was the book that most appeared on their ‘influential’ books list.

The author of Rhinoceros Success, Scott Alexander, declares that there are two kinds of people in the world – those who are like ‘Rhinos’ and those who are ‘Cows’

What’s the difference you ask?

Cows go with the herd and surround themselves with others just like them so that they can blend in.

Cows fulfil their basic tasks by eating, sleeping and producing milk as life passes them by.

For a cow everyday is like groundhog day, it’s the same monotonous routine day in and day out.

Cows do have dreams and wishes but the fear of breaking away from the safety of the heard and possible failure keeps them rooted to the spot.

Rhinos on the other hand are strong animals who are thick skinned and not worried by what others think or say.

Rhinos don’t have dreams or wishes, they simply decide what they wants and then charge toward it, not stopping until they get it.

A Rhino forges its own path and never follows “the herd.”

So what does all this have to do you with?
I’m not saying that everyone should be a Rhino nor am I saying that you shouldn’t be a cow.
What I am saying is if you want to really achieve significant meaningful goals in your life, then you have to be more like a Rhino.

Here are 5 simple principles for living more like a Rhino.

Stop Wishing On A Star.

Instead of wishing things were different make a decision to do something about it. Turn that wish into a goal by moving from a thought in your mind to a goal committed to paper.

Boom Shake The Room

Take that goal and turn it into a compelling vision statement that makes you feel so excited and pumped that you cannot wait to get up every morning inspired to take action.

Likes Are For Facebook.

Forget having everyone love you. When you choose to take on a different path from the heard, some won’t like it, some will love it and some may even join you in a Jerry McGuire sty-lee.

Drop The Assumptive Close.

When you say to yourself something like “I’m not good enough”, how do you know?

Too many people quit before they’ve even started because they’ve made assumptions about themselves and end up closing off any progress.

Stop it! Give it a try first. You will be amazed at what you are actually capable of doing.

The Elephant In The Room.

To get to where they want Elephants will trample over what is in their path whereas Rhinos charge towards it warning whatever is in the way that it is coming.

Yes, be committed to the charge and take action but at the sometime you must be careful not to trample on others to get what you want.

So it’s over to you. Are you a cow or a rhino?

This post was inspired by the work of David Hyner FPSA and Director of Stretch Development.

3 Questions To Help You Find Your Mojo.

1st December 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Have you ever found yourself in a position where you’re starting to question if what you are doing is the right thing?

Maybe you’ve started to wonder if all the time and energy you’ve invested into your career is all really worth it?

When you are going through a tough spell those questions can circulate in your mind, begin to chip away at your motivation and play havoc with your mojo.

I’ve developed 3 questions which have helped me keep hold of my mojo, stay motivated and driven – even in the toughest of times.

Check out the video below for the full low down.

Looking for just the questions?

Here are the 3 which now form part of my daily practice.

How is what I do important to ME?

How is what I do important to the people I LOVE?

How is what I do important to the people I SERVE?

Try these as part of your daily practice to remind yourself of and reconnect to your purpose.

The 5am Club

10th November 2014 by VParmar 4 Comments

For the past two months I’ve been a member of the 5am club and it’s made a massive difference in my life.

It was inspired by author Robin Sharma and a few of friends who have adopted the practice into their lives.

I thought I’ d share my version with you as I think it could be a useful thing to add into your life.

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Each morning I am up at 5am and here is what I do.

Practice #1 – Water.

Before I do anything else I hydrate my body with a litre of water. It’s a traditional Ayurvedic practice which is said to have multiple health benefits from flushing out toxins and impurities to improving concentration levels.

I do it to kick start my body’s engine as it will have been without it for at least 6 hours. Besides our brain cells are about 85% water and muscles contain 75% of H2O so it makes sense that you should feed it more of what it needs.

I can tell from my own experience that my body functions so much better as a result. I can really feel a difference in my energy levels on the days when I haven’t done this properly.

Practice #2 – Gratitude.

I spend the next 15 minutes in the practice of gratitude. Simply I have a conversation with God and give thanks for what I have in my life physically and spiritually. What I mean by that is not only giving thanks for the material things in my life but also for the person that I am at my soul level.

I give thanks to the good times and also to the challenges that my life that have shaped me into who I am and what I am able to do.

You may not believe in God or any ‘higher power’ but that doesn’t mean you can’t practice gratitude. You can simply go through a process of thanking all the key people in your life for contributions that have made to where you are now.

I can tell you that I have been far more on ‘message’, driven and motivated as a result of this short process.

Practice #3 – Fitness.

It’s workout time. Contrary to what you may be picturing in your mind this doesn’t mean you have to be in a gym.

A workout can be a brisk walk, a run through your local park or body weight circuit you can do in your living room (if you need help with this let me know I have some great ideas!) Whatever constitutes exercise for you, do it for 30 mins.

I chose to go to a gym because it fits my goals. I usually spend about 60-75 minutes on a planned routine which I have tailored to fit what I want to achieve with my body but this time isn’t just about physical exercise. It’s “me” time.

In my work I am with people all day and I also have a wife and young daughter, so this hour of “me” time is one of the few periods of the day that I can lock myself away from the world.

I plug into audiobooks, motivational speeches and sometimes I even watch a sitcom while I am on a bike. It fires my brain up in different ways and I feel more creative, energised and focused as result.

The Golden Rule.

During this whole time I avoid checking my email and social media. I will read articles from specific magazines.

The only times I will do something on social media is if I suddenly have an idea or thought that I think will have value to the people I am connected with.

Do it your way but do it.

You might think I am crazy and tell yourself that there is no way on earth you would get up at 5am.

You don’t have to be up at 5am.

The intention behind this practice is all about setting you up for a successful productive day, so whether you do it at 5.30, 6 or even 7 am- the point is you take an hour to spend some time on ‘you’ before you get to ‘working on/with/for them’

Let me know how you get on, I’d love to hear about your results.

What makes a strong leader?

6th October 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Last week I was invited to share my thoughts with Danny Kelly on BBC Radio WM about leadership following a YouGov survey which revealed that 59% of respondents felt that Ed Miliband appeared ‘weak.’

I shared 3 key attributes which I feel are key attributes of great leaders : 1) The ability to engage, 2) having a commanding physiology and 3) being prepared to be vulnerable.

You can listen to the whole interview (8 mins) below.

There are other traits which I believe make a strong leader and add to what I said in the interview.

I’m taken back to a book I read many years ago that had a profound effect on me and shaped the way I developed as a leader.

Steven R. Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has been a permanent fixture in my book collection for many years. Below I have outlined my adaptation of five of his key principles that I believe translate into practical behaviours for strong leaders.

#1. Be Proactive.

The strong leader is always on the front foot understanding that they cannot control everything around them. They know that they are not defined by their circumstances or conditions but rather they are defined by how they respond in situations.

The weak leader is caught on the back foot. They believe that they are helpless, a victim of circumstance and that the solution to the problem always lies with someone or something else.

For example, imagine the performance of a team is suffering. The strong leader will look at themselves first and ask “what is it that I could do differently to help improve the situation?” They will step forward, accept responsibility and become part of the solution.

The weak leader will see the problem elsewhere and seek to apportion blame, declaring that it is others that need to change in order to improve things. They will step back, absolve themselves from any responsibility and believe that the solution exists outside of themselves.

#2. Begin with the end in mind.

The strong leader has a clear vision and makes daily decisions consistent with travelling in that direction.

The weak leader’s decision making is moment to moment. They are a random collection of choices that may or may not help achieve what they want.

The strong leader knows that establishing the end game first is critical to overall success. They understand that if they know where they want to be, then they can make better choices day to day moving towards what they want rather than away from it.

For example, imagine you are leading within an organisation and are asked to identify cost savings. It would be easy to look down your departmental budget and pick out the big numbers to slash. This might win you some ground in the short term but what if those things that were cut are crucial to the long term success of your business? What if the very things that win you points now are the cause of your demise later?

#3. Put first things first.

Strong leaders focus on the ‘must’ do tasks whereas weak leaders focus on the ‘nice to do’ things.

Where as begin with the end in mind was about the mental preparation and creation, putting first things first is about the physical creation.

In a constantly ‘on’ world you can easily find yourself being busy doing things all day, but are they the right things? Are they the most urgent or important? Or are you doing them because you like to do them?

Take email as an example. Do you respond to every message pretty much as soon as it comes in? Does the ‘ding’ of email arriving suddenly jolt you into action?

Of course there are urgent emails and messages which need an instant reply and I bet if you really think about it there are very few that actually need that level of immediate response in reality.

What are big important things you should be doing instead? The things which will move you closer to your objective?

If you don’t have a clear end game then how can you know what is and what isn’t urgent?

#4. Seek fist to understand and then to be understood.

The strong leader listens…really listens, the weak leader simply hears what is being said.

Most people think they are good listeners but in reality they can still be much better.

In words of William Stringfellow –

“Listening is a rare happening among human beings. You cannot listen to the word another is speaking if you are preoccupied with your own appearance or impressing another, or trying to decide what you are going to say when the other person stops speaking”

When weak leaders listen, they cannot wait for their turn to speak. They are eager to get their views across and say things like “I understand where you are coming from but…” or “I agree with that but…”

Strong Leaders hold the intention to fully understand before they respond. They are totally present in the conversation and have no compulsion to jump in a share their view. Their purpose is not to agree or disagree, but understand fully the other point of view before deciding how they respond.

#5. Sharpen the saw.

Strong leaders are consistent practitioners, weak leaders are dabblers in what is flavour of the month.

If you took an inventory of all of the things you know, all the knowledge you’ve gained from courses and books how long would the list be? If you were then asked exactly how much of it you consistently practice, how much shorter would your list be?

The strong leader knows that practice is a constant discipline which enables your skills to remain sharp and effective. If Tiger Woods, Roger Federer or Michael Jordan only practised their skills during game time, they wouldn’t have been half as good as they were. The investment in constant practice is what helped them to step up their performance in live situations.

Similarly, if you only practice listening in a conflict situation are you really going to be an effective listener? If you only put first things first on occasion how can you expect you plans to work?

The full 7 habits are a great simple set of principles of life and business but the biggest lesson I learned about strong leadership is this….

Strong leaders do not wait for permission, need titles or require followers. Strong leaders lead themselves first knowing that it is their actions which will inspire others to follow them.

What do you think makes a strong leader? Please leave comments below.

If you need help with becoming a stronger leader or developing the leadership skills of your people then check out Vinspired Coaching or give me a call.