life and business coaching

Mind The Gap – Finding Your Leverage

21st April 2015 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Recently I met with successful lady who has done very well in her career but is unhappy.

She talked about how she felt frustrated, undervalued and under-utilised by her company. She explained to me she was looking for a new challenge and I could see the pain in her eyes.

So I asked what she had done so far to make the change happen.

She told me that she hadn’t done a great deal other than put her CV out to a few people.

Now, from everything she said it would appear that she had the perfect motivation but yet she wasn’t taking enough action to change her situation.

She’s not alone.

Most of us at some point have had dreams of doing something different.

Maybe a change of job? A new career? Starting a business? Perhaps taking up a new activity in your spare time?

However often we fail to take quality of action we need to make things happen – why? [Read more…] about Mind The Gap – Finding Your Leverage

Remember….You’re Great

7th April 2015 by VParmar Leave a Comment

In 2013, having helped London based football club Crystal Palace secure promotion to the English Premier League, Wilfred Zaha was set to start the next chapter of his career with a dream move to one of the biggest football clubs in the world – Manchester United.

It should have been the stuff of fairytales but it turned out to be anything but that. He struggled to make it into the first team and the dream quickly became a nightmare.

He doubted his ability and felt worthless.

2 years on and back at Crystal Palace he has managed to revitalise his career and is back in some of the best form of his life.

So what changed? What was the secret?

Environment is greater than will

24th November 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

“Dude, are you in Costa again? You should buy shares in that place.”

It’s not that I have some unhealthy love affair with coffee. Even though it is easy to be at this time of year, with all the novelty varieties unleashed upon us Praline Cappuccinos, Eggnog or Gingerbread lattes and a cheeky piece of gluten free christmas cake – what’s not to love?

But that is not why I spend a lot of time in coffee shops.

When you are soloprenuer like me, starring at the four walls of your home office can be like Superman being exposed to Kryptonite – It’s a slow painful death as you are sapped of your creativity and problem solving powers.

One of the lessons I’ve come to appreciate more than ever recently is “Environment is greater than will”

Will power, determination and tenacity will get you so far but what will really change your game is your environment.

Here are 5 strategies I’ve adopted for changing up my environment and firing up those creative juices with great effect :

1. The Great Outdoors.

There’s something about being with Mother Nature which connects with me with my inner creative marvel.

There’s a Lake near where I live that I often go for walks around when I am struggling with ideas. Just being out there with the fresh air and the water seems to quieten down that destructive mind chatter and brings out a sense of clarity.

It doesn’t have to be a Lake. The local park, fields or even a quick power walk around the block can be great.

2. Get Up. Stand Up.

During my corporate career I managed a lot of contact centres which included telesales teams. I noticed that the agents who performed best were almost always on their feet when talking to customers.

Standing up creates more energy than being hunched over a desk or slumped in a chair. When you stand your blood flow is better as is your ability to breathe which means your brain gets more of the good stuff.

Some companies have taken this further and adopted standing only meetings to keep the focus and energy high.

Next time you find yourself feeling frustrated by a lack of ideas, get up out of that chair and stand tall!

3. People Power.

I draw my energy from being around people. My worst nightmare is solitary confinement.

I’ve always worked in large office spaces and had big teams around me so it kind of makes sense that I enjoyed success there.

Now those big office days are behind me, I choose to work in coffee shops, urban spaces and hotels whenever I can. I don’t even need to talk to anyone, just the buzz of people around me provides me energy.

Try breaking up your day and spend and hour or two in a busy environment.

4. Playtime

In recent years cool brands like Google have added games rooms to their office space. Fusball tables, Pool tables, video games and even slides are not uncommon place.

There is method to their madness. Playing games puts us back in a child like state and when were we most creative? Correct.

You might not have a games room but you can bring games into your environment. For example on of my business friends has a pack of Super Hero Top Trumps in his bag which come out whenever we are working together and we hot a mental blockade.

Get back to the 7 year old you and tap into that creative engine.

5. Must be the music.

Music is a powerful tool in influencing your mood. We all have favourite songs that remind us of the good times.

Some retail outlets have found that they can influence the buying behaviour of customers based on the BPM of the music they select in store.

Make a list of your top ten feel good track in a playlist or CD. When you’re feeling suck or unproductive, crank up the volume.

What I learned about Networking from the A Team.

19th November 2014 by VParmar 1 Comment

From the moment I stepped out of the world of the corporate employee 7 years ago, I was told by many wise people “ Vinay, you must network!”

So like a good boy I did what I was told.

I attended regular breakfast networking groups, went to lots of evening meetings and joined various associations.

To be perfectly honest it was a mixed bag of results.

There are people who will say “Networking is a waste of time” or “It doesn’t work. I’m not getting any business from it” and even “It doesn’t suit my business”.

If all that is true, then why do so many ‘business gurus’ wax lyrical about the importance of networking?

Well, I can only speak from my experience (of not being a business guru) and tell you that the one thing I know for certain is that networking does work.

In fact 95% of my business to date has come as direct result of networking and if I track back across my corporate career so have my biggest opportunities.

I said earlier my results were a mixed bag but that was because it took me a while to figure out what worked for me.

Of course there are approaches which will make what you do more or less effective .

Here’s my take on what has worked for me and others I know, aided by the characters from the 80’s hit US TV show “The A-Team.”

John ‘Hannibal’ Smith.

The signature ending of every episode of the A-Team was Hannibal lighting up a cigar and declaring “I love it when a plan comes together”

Networking should form a core part of your overall marketing plan.

A mistake business owners and professionals make is that they see networking as something outside of their marketing strategy and so they treat it as an ‘add on’ or a luxury activity that they dip into on occasion.

For networking to work it has to be a core activity and have a set of objectives aligned with your business/personal outcomes.

The trouble today is that there are so many networking events that you could end up becoming a full time networker and turn yourself into a busy fool.

Trust me on this, I’ve been there and it’s not a great place to be.

By having a clear set of objectives you will be able to better select which events suit you, your business and your market.

I ask myself these 3 questions when considering attending a networking event :

#1 Does this event sound like the kind of place where my target market would hangout or at least have people that are directly connected with it?

#2 Does this event look like the kind of place that the target market of my closest business friends hangout?

#3 Does this event look like the place where I am likely to meet like minded people who could become part of my power peer group to help me grow, become better and improve me as a human being?

If I cannot answer YES to at least two of those questions I don’t go.

Yes! I am being judgemental and perhaps I may miss out on opportunities but I am also increasing my odds of finding the right opportunity.

Figure out what is important to you in networking and set your own objectives .

Oh and leave lighting up the cigar until you leave the building.

Templeton “Faceman” Peck

Face is the master of building rapport and influence. He is normally the one in the team tasked with working his way past gatekeepers or to gain access to restricted areas.

Whilst you may not need to get your hands on a box of AK-47s, you will need to get past the defences of the people you are speaking to.

You need to master the art of building rapport with people.

Rapport is simply the art of creating commonality.

The more comfortable people are with you, the more they will open up.

There is a whole science behind rapport building but here are 3 ways to build rapport quickly:

The Smile.

It sounds so simple and obvious yet so many people underestimate the power of a smile.

Ask yourself when someone smiles at you, what do you do back? That’s right, you smile too!

A smile is disarming and let’s the other person know that it’s safe to talk to you.

You’d be surprised at the number people I see at networking events with crossed arms and frowns that also complain that they didn’t meet anyone useful.

The Handshake.

Again simple yet underestimated in it’s power. According to a 2012 study in the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience a handshake “not only increases the positive effect toward a favorable interaction, but it also diminishes the impact of a negative impression.”

But be careful and pay attention to the kind of handshake you give.

Are you hand crusher? Wet Fish shaker? A hand-on-top kinda power player?

A good handshake feels deliberate but also neutral in force. You don’t want to crush their bones and you most definitely don’t want a feeble flap.

The kinaesthetic impact of a handshake creates an unconscious connection between people based on the premise that we only really ‘touch’ people we trust or feel safe with.

The Name.

They have a name, so use it.

When you use somebody’s name it sends a signal to their brain for them to pay attention and listen to what is being said.

It also builds familiarity and you are less likely to have that embarrassing situation when, suddenly in the middle of the conversation you forget the other their name.

Here’s a bonus tip. If you cannot pronounce the name ask! It’s far more respectful to check the pronunciation that it is to make your own version up.

For example my name is Vinay and it is pronounced “Vee Nay” but I often get called “Vinny”. I don’t tend to make a big deal about it but I always have more time for someone who takes the time to find out the correct pronunciation.

Your name is a gift and the sweetest sound they will hear in any language.

Murdock.

The A-Team’s pilot, Murdock can fly any aircraft built with extreme precision. However, due to a helicopter crash in Vietnam, Murdock apparently went insane.

To make an impact you’ve got to be prepared to step outside your comfort zone and be a little bit different – a little crazy maybe.

The worst thing you can do is blend in with the shades of grey. You might think it counter intuitive and safer to be like everyone else in the room but the moment you leave the event so will any memory of you.

When Hutchinson Telecom entered the UK mobile market they knew that in order to be successful they had to standout from their competition. They branded themselves Orange and separated themselves from the likes of BT Cellent, Vodafone and Mercury One 2 One.

In a similar way you want to make an impact and stay front of mind with people you meet long after they leave.

Here are 3 ways for how you can standout form the crowd and be remembered for the right reasons :

Your business card.

Your business card is one of the most important tools in your marketing tool box. Ditch the standard boring white card and get a little more creative. You could add some colour, a photo of yourself or a brand message on the reverse.

I went to a breakfast meeting where I met a Master Jeweller who talked about his expertise and craft with a passion. His card was a deep purple, on thick card and the lettering was in gold. It represented his brand perfectly. Do you think I’d have thought the same of him if he handed me a “get 250 free” Vistaprint card?

Use props.

I was involved with an networking group called 4Networking years ago and their founder Brad Burton was famous for going to networking meetings with a pizza box under his arm. He was in the pizza business and it was a great conversation starter.

Another business friend of mine works in the fitness industry. At a recent expo instead of having the usual roller banner and marketing bumpf, he took with him life size cardboard cut outs of famous body builders. He asked visitors to his stand to take a picture with a cut out and post to social media.

A pizza box or cardboard cut out might not work for your business but there will be something which has the same kind of effect.

Your introduction

In one of the new working groups I used to run I had a guy who, instead of the usual 60 second introduction each week, would create a new limerick about his business. Another business owner had a catchphrase in her introduction, which after a short time become so memorable that group would repeat it before she even finished!

You might think that is unconventional and not the ‘proper way’ to introduce a business but look at what brands like Go Compare!, Compare the Market and Direct Line have done. They all have a jingle, catchy tagline or sound which is synonymous with their business.

At the very least you can find a way to use your introduction opportunity in a more expressive and compelling fashion than simply churning out the standard My name is. “Blah” and I am a “Blah”

B A Barracus

B.A. was the muscle in the team and he was forthright in what he said. One of his catchphrases was “Quit your Jibba Jabba” which roughly translated means “Would you stop talking please?”

There is nothing worse that being trapped in a conversation when the other person is just talking about themselves. Don’t be that guy or gal.

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You are supposed to listen more than you talk.

One of the most common questions I get from people about networking is “What do I talk about?” and I say “Don’t worry about what to talk about instead think of what you could ask about!”

The best networkers speak very little about themselves but ask great questions of others, taking a genuine interest in the people they are talking to.

I learnt a great tool to help with conversation from my uncle who was a successful insurance agent.

The key thing is that given the chance most people like to talk about themselves

Use F.O.R.M as a quick simple way of striking up conversation.

F – Family or Friends. Do they have kids? Are they married? Where are they from?

0 – Occupation – Ask them more about their profession. How did they get into the field? What do they enjoy most about what they do?

R – Recreation – What do they like to do when they aren’t working? Perhaps they play a sport that you also do?

M – Money No, don’t ask how much they earn! You might ask about what they think about the economy right?

The more you listen, the more opportunities you will uncover.

Ask questions instead…open questions which give you more than a yes or no answer.

One of my favourite questions to ask someone is “What exciting projects are you working on right now?”

Do you have any top networking tips? What has worked for you?

The 5am Club

10th November 2014 by VParmar 4 Comments

For the past two months I’ve been a member of the 5am club and it’s made a massive difference in my life.

It was inspired by author Robin Sharma and a few of friends who have adopted the practice into their lives.

I thought I’ d share my version with you as I think it could be a useful thing to add into your life.

Each morning I am up at 5am and here is what I do.

Practice #1 – Water.

Before I do anything else I hydrate my body with a litre of water. It’s a traditional Ayurvedic practice which is said to have multiple health benefits from flushing out toxins and impurities to improving concentration levels.

I do it to kick start my body’s engine as it will have been without it for at least 6 hours. Besides our brain cells are about 85% water and muscles contain 75% of H2O so it makes sense that you should feed it more of what it needs.

I can tell from my own experience that my body functions so much better as a result. I can really feel a difference in my energy levels on the days when I haven’t done this properly.

Practice #2 – Gratitude.

I spend the next 15 minutes in the practice of gratitude. Simply I have a conversation with God and give thanks for what I have in my life physically and spiritually. What I mean by that is not only giving thanks for the material things in my life but also for the person that I am at my soul level.

I give thanks to the good times and also to the challenges that my life that have shaped me into who I am and what I am able to do.

You may not believe in God or any ‘higher power’ but that doesn’t mean you can’t practice gratitude. You can simply go through a process of thanking all the key people in your life for contributions that have made to where you are now.

I can tell you that I have been far more on ‘message’, driven and motivated as a result of this short process.

Practice #3 – Fitness.

It’s workout time. Contrary to what you may be picturing in your mind this doesn’t mean you have to be in a gym.

A workout can be a brisk walk, a run through your local park or body weight circuit you can do in your living room (if you need help with this let me know I have some great ideas!) Whatever constitutes exercise for you, do it for 30 mins.

I chose to go to a gym because it fits my goals. I usually spend about 60-75 minutes on a planned routine which I have tailored to fit what I want to achieve with my body but this time isn’t just about physical exercise. It’s “me” time.

In my work I am with people all day and I also have a wife and young daughter, so this hour of “me” time is one of the few periods of the day that I can lock myself away from the world.

I plug into audiobooks, motivational speeches and sometimes I even watch a sitcom while I am on a bike. It fires my brain up in different ways and I feel more creative, energised and focused as result.

The Golden Rule.

During this whole time I avoid checking my email and social media. I will read articles from specific magazines.

The only times I will do something on social media is if I suddenly have an idea or thought that I think will have value to the people I am connected with.

Do it your way but do it.

You might think I am crazy and tell yourself that there is no way on earth you would get up at 5am.

You don’t have to be up at 5am.

The intention behind this practice is all about setting you up for a successful productive day, so whether you do it at 5.30, 6 or even 7 am- the point is you take an hour to spend some time on ‘you’ before you get to ‘working on/with/for them’

Let me know how you get on, I’d love to hear about your results.

What makes a strong leader?

6th October 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Last week I was invited to share my thoughts with Danny Kelly on BBC Radio WM about leadership following a YouGov survey which revealed that 59% of respondents felt that Ed Miliband appeared ‘weak.’

I shared 3 key attributes which I feel are key attributes of great leaders : 1) The ability to engage, 2) having a commanding physiology and 3) being prepared to be vulnerable.

You can listen to the whole interview (8 mins) below.

There are other traits which I believe make a strong leader and add to what I said in the interview.

I’m taken back to a book I read many years ago that had a profound effect on me and shaped the way I developed as a leader.

Steven R. Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has been a permanent fixture in my book collection for many years. Below I have outlined my adaptation of five of his key principles that I believe translate into practical behaviours for strong leaders.

#1. Be Proactive.

The strong leader is always on the front foot understanding that they cannot control everything around them. They know that they are not defined by their circumstances or conditions but rather they are defined by how they respond in situations.

The weak leader is caught on the back foot. They believe that they are helpless, a victim of circumstance and that the solution to the problem always lies with someone or something else.

For example, imagine the performance of a team is suffering. The strong leader will look at themselves first and ask “what is it that I could do differently to help improve the situation?” They will step forward, accept responsibility and become part of the solution.

The weak leader will see the problem elsewhere and seek to apportion blame, declaring that it is others that need to change in order to improve things. They will step back, absolve themselves from any responsibility and believe that the solution exists outside of themselves.

#2. Begin with the end in mind.

The strong leader has a clear vision and makes daily decisions consistent with travelling in that direction.

The weak leader’s decision making is moment to moment. They are a random collection of choices that may or may not help achieve what they want.

The strong leader knows that establishing the end game first is critical to overall success. They understand that if they know where they want to be, then they can make better choices day to day moving towards what they want rather than away from it.

For example, imagine you are leading within an organisation and are asked to identify cost savings. It would be easy to look down your departmental budget and pick out the big numbers to slash. This might win you some ground in the short term but what if those things that were cut are crucial to the long term success of your business? What if the very things that win you points now are the cause of your demise later?

#3. Put first things first.

Strong leaders focus on the ‘must’ do tasks whereas weak leaders focus on the ‘nice to do’ things.

Where as begin with the end in mind was about the mental preparation and creation, putting first things first is about the physical creation.

In a constantly ‘on’ world you can easily find yourself being busy doing things all day, but are they the right things? Are they the most urgent or important? Or are you doing them because you like to do them?

Take email as an example. Do you respond to every message pretty much as soon as it comes in? Does the ‘ding’ of email arriving suddenly jolt you into action?

Of course there are urgent emails and messages which need an instant reply and I bet if you really think about it there are very few that actually need that level of immediate response in reality.

What are big important things you should be doing instead? The things which will move you closer to your objective?

If you don’t have a clear end game then how can you know what is and what isn’t urgent?

#4. Seek fist to understand and then to be understood.

The strong leader listens…really listens, the weak leader simply hears what is being said.

Most people think they are good listeners but in reality they can still be much better.

In words of William Stringfellow –

“Listening is a rare happening among human beings. You cannot listen to the word another is speaking if you are preoccupied with your own appearance or impressing another, or trying to decide what you are going to say when the other person stops speaking”

When weak leaders listen, they cannot wait for their turn to speak. They are eager to get their views across and say things like “I understand where you are coming from but…” or “I agree with that but…”

Strong Leaders hold the intention to fully understand before they respond. They are totally present in the conversation and have no compulsion to jump in a share their view. Their purpose is not to agree or disagree, but understand fully the other point of view before deciding how they respond.

#5. Sharpen the saw.

Strong leaders are consistent practitioners, weak leaders are dabblers in what is flavour of the month.

If you took an inventory of all of the things you know, all the knowledge you’ve gained from courses and books how long would the list be? If you were then asked exactly how much of it you consistently practice, how much shorter would your list be?

The strong leader knows that practice is a constant discipline which enables your skills to remain sharp and effective. If Tiger Woods, Roger Federer or Michael Jordan only practised their skills during game time, they wouldn’t have been half as good as they were. The investment in constant practice is what helped them to step up their performance in live situations.

Similarly, if you only practice listening in a conflict situation are you really going to be an effective listener? If you only put first things first on occasion how can you expect you plans to work?

The full 7 habits are a great simple set of principles of life and business but the biggest lesson I learned about strong leadership is this….

Strong leaders do not wait for permission, need titles or require followers. Strong leaders lead themselves first knowing that it is their actions which will inspire others to follow them.

What do you think makes a strong leader? Please leave comments below.

If you need help with becoming a stronger leader or developing the leadership skills of your people then check out Vinspired Coaching or give me a call.