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Remember….You’re Great

7th April 2015 by VParmar Leave a Comment

In 2013, having helped London based football club Crystal Palace secure promotion to the English Premier League, Wilfred Zaha was set to start the next chapter of his career with a dream move to one of the biggest football clubs in the world – Manchester United.

It should have been the stuff of fairytales but it turned out to be anything but that. He struggled to make it into the first team and the dream quickly became a nightmare.

He doubted his ability and felt worthless.

2 years on and back at Crystal Palace he has managed to revitalise his career and is back in some of the best form of his life.

So what changed? What was the secret?

No Pressure. No Diamonds.

4th December 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

Can I ask you a question? How do you deal with pressure?

Are you someone who thrives on pressure or are you someone who finds it difficult to deal with the stress and anxiety that it can bring?

Pressure can be a powerful tool to access your inner power and potential if channelled and managed in the right way, just like the process of how diamonds are formed. (No they do not come from coal!)

Check out the video below for my 5 top tips for dealing with pressure and uncovering your diamonds.

No time to watch the video and want the tips? You don’t know what you’re missing.

Vinay’s Top 5 Pressure Management Strategies.

#1 Take a break.

It might seem difficult to do but tearing yourself away from a big work project, demanding family or growing financial bills can be just the thing you need. When you give yourself permission to have some “me” time away from the thing thats causing pressure you could gain new perspective. Remember though this is ‘take a break from’ not ‘run away from’ so you still need to deal with whatever is causing the pressure.

#2 Exercise.

There is more and more compelling evidence to support the premise that exercise is good for your mind and not just your body. You don’t have to go to the gym or pump iron, just 20-minutes of activity such as a walk or dancing around in your PJs when you are feeling stressed has massive impact on your mood that can last for several hours.

#3 Smile and laugh.

The East teaches us that laughter is the best medicine. Our brains are wired with our emotions and facial expressions. When we are stressed, we tend to store tension in our bodies and much of that can be in our faces. Laughing helps relax those muscles, fire off natural anti depressants and feel good hormones.

#4 Friends with Benefits.

Remember the old adage “A problem shared is a problem halved”? Keeping stress and anxiety to yourself is like pushing a self destruct button. Instead of keeping everything in reach out to friends or family to share how you are feeling. Of course ensure it is not with someone who is directly involved with the situation causing the stress.

Oh and never ever share it on Facebook. This might sound old fashioned but pick up the phone and speak to someone.

#5 Chillax

Meditation is a powerful practice that can help relax you and bring stillness to your mind You don’t have to sit under a tree chanting Om or spend hours with your eyes shut. Meditation is the practice of being with yourself and clearing your mind of thoughts. By being with yourself and being still you can gain clarity, calmness and be more relaxed.

Lessons from a Chimpanzee.

1st September 2014 by VParmar 1 Comment

Over the weekend I watched Disney’s Chimpanzee with my 4 year old daughter.

The documentary follows a troop of chimps who are under the leadership of Freddy who is strong, resolute and ruthless in his style.

The story unfolds as a rival troop is looking to infiltrate Freddy’s territory and in the battle a young chimp called Oscar is orphaned.

As this little guy tries to come to terms with losing his mother he attempts to attach himself to others in the troop but gets rejection after rejection as all the other mothers have babies of their own to tend to.

The situation is hopeless. Oscar is unable to fend for himself and his condition starts to deteriorate leaving him facing a certain death.

In what would seem a final, desperate attempt to save himself Oscar approaches the one chimp in the troop that is seemingly unapproachable – Freddy.

Instead of pushing him away, Freddy takes Oscar under his wing. The two begin to bond and Freddy shares his knowledge with Oscar teaching him how to be a chimp.

Then something amazing happens. Something so unusual that the film crew is stunned.
Freddy carries Oscar on his back, something only a mother would normally do. He adopts Oscar as his own.

Oscar was saved and it was thanks to the most unlikely of sources.

What has all of this got to do with you?

In the pursuit of success and in the face of challenging times we can fool ourselves into thinking we have exhausted all options but help can always be found, it is just that sometimes it is in the most unlikely of places.

Having been rejected time and time again, Oscar could have given up…but he didn’t.

The natural order of the troop should have stopped him from approaching Freddy but it didn’t.

Have you ever held back from approaching someone because of their position or stature?

Sometimes we can be so in awe of others or intimidated by their position that we won’t make an approach.

What’s the worst that can happen? Another “NO”?

You wouldn’t be any worse off, would you?

But what if you got a “Yes”?
Just think what that could mean.

Don’t rip off the shark!

31st August 2014 by VParmar Leave a Comment

I am a big fan of TED talks. One of my favourites is from J.J. Abrahams the creator of the hit TV show Lost.

He shares how mystery always plays central role in everything he creates and he also touches on why he thinks rip off movies don’t work.

If you asked most people what the movie ‘Jaws’ was about , the reply would most likely be “It’s about a killer shark!”

True to a degree…but it is about way more than that.

The shark is just what people see on the surface.

Jaws is really about a man finding his place in the world. It’s about Brody and his struggle to find significance in the world.

In the same way the movie E.T. isn’t just about an alien who gets left behind on Earth. It’s about divorce. It is about a young boy who is struggling to come to terms with this parents splitting up.

What has all this got to do with you?

It is easy to look across at someone else or another business who you deem to be more successful and think “maybe I should do what they are doing?” or “We need to have products like that”

Whilst you might be able to replicate their processes or methods, you more than likely won’t get the kind of results that they have.

Why? Because you are focusing on the shark.

Here is my point.

To truly replicate success you have look beyond the shark to the story behind the story.

There are other critical components which will have contributed to success but are invisible to you when you look in from the outside.

Brands like Apple, Google, Zappos, Amazon and Disney aren’t great just because of their products but more so it what is behind the products – the company culture, values, the DNA – which drives the greatness.

All these ‘behind the scenes elements’ are critical components of the story but often there isn’t enough attention paid to them or they are simply missed out all together.

The logo, the HQ, the tie, the shoes, the car and the suit are just other “sharks.”

The bottom line is that to really uncover the secret to another’s success whether that be as individuals or as a business you must look deeper.

A fellow speaker friend and mentor of mine David Hyner has interviewed top achievers and he had the pleasure of speaking with former gold medal winning athlete Kris Akabusi who shared with him a golden piece of insight which I think sums it up nicely.

Kris said “Look into top achievers, not up to them”

Sorry Tony, I disagree. Repetition is not the mother of all skill.

4th August 2014 by VParmar 8 Comments

I first heard this phrase used by the legend that is Tony Robbins when he was talking creating habits – the more you repeat something the higher the likelihood that it will become a habit.

“Habits lead to actions, which lead to results which in turn leads us to success” is the maxim.

Whilst I agree with this theory, I disagree that repetition is the mother of all skill.

I would say that persistence is the mother of all skills.

Why?

I come across people everyday who give up on their dreams…often when they are just within touching distance they give up.

They are literally around the corner form the finish line and yet they put their hands up and stop running.

Maybe you know someone like this or perhaps you’ve even done this.

Everything started well. They had an idea, a plan and they took massive action. They kept a positive mind but eventually it had been worn down by challenges, difficulties and people around them telling that perhaps ‘they’ve tried enough’ and ‘maybe it’s time to give up.’ – even they should be ‘proud’ of how far they’ve come.

Talk to anyone who has achieved real success and you’ll find that they have been so focused on their outcome or goal that they would run through concrete reinforced walls to get there.

Even when the odds have been stacked against them they’ve been persistent – even relentless in their efforts.

To them it is never enough until the job is done.

To achieve anything in life you have to hone your mentality to create a superhero level of persistence.

Yes habits are very important but in my opinion persistency is the mother of all skill.